I've Been Here Before
by 9magpie3
Summary: AU: The most important person in Beca's life is gone. Now her daughter is lost to her, and she may never be able to find her. Will Beca find herself before it is too late for her daughter? Will she let her redheaded neighbor help her before she is lost forever?
1. Chapter 1: The Minor Fall

"Laurie. I can't believe it. A baby girl. She's beautiful."

"She really is. Gah! I can't believe we finally have a kid!" Laurie's excitement was nearly tangible to Beca. Her unfailing happiness was one of the things that had drawn Beca to Laurie. Beca was never an overly happy person, her childhood home had made sure of that, and she had always preferred to live within the world of music. Music was easy. All your feelings and thoughts could be represented perfectly in the melodies and lyrics. Your life could change with one perfect bassline. She had always felt this way, especially when she needed something to drown out her parents loud, angry words in the next room.

Laurie was the one person who could draw Beca out of her own little world. Out of her mixes and out of her head. Laurie was the kind of person that surrounded you and took you completely hostage. Her happiness was infectious, soon Beca couldn't help but catch that disease. It was unpleasant at first, but Beca grew to love being loved. Beca loved Laurie. And now Beca had a little Laurie to love even more.

Beca never thought kids were in her future. She was scared of messing up any family she tried to start. Beca didn't want to be anything like her. At first she resisted Laurie's prodding. There was no way Beca Mitchell would be a mother. Laurie had known this when they had gotten married, and she was ok with it. She really was, but seeing other families around the park, in restaurants, and on T.V., the more insistent she got with Beca. In the end it wasn't the constant discussions, and sometimes arguments, she had with Laurie, the pictures of children all over their house, nor even the informative powerpoint Laurie had spent days on. It was the wanting loving look in Laurie's eyes whenever she would talk about having children of their own. Besides Beca could never say no to Laurie for long. Beca loved Laurie more than anything. The thought of kids might have scared her, but Laurie's love was louder. There was a promise made. Give Beca two years to rise up in the music production company that had just hired her. When they had a little more money saved up Beca promised that they would start a family.

They spent weeks picking the perfect donor for their child. When Laurie finally got pregnant Beca was surprised at herself. She was becoming happier and happier as the weeks went by, and it wasn't just Laurie infecting Beca. It was Beca's own happiness. The tracks she produced got more notice from the public. Within Laurie's first month of pregnancy one of Beca's songs made it to number three on Billboard's Top 100.

Beca got a call from the hospital. Laurie had felt ill that day. When she went home she had found an immense amount of bleeding when she used to restroom. Laurie had called an ambulance, and when she got to the hospital the doctor told her she had had a miscarriage. Beca rushed to the hospital and found Laurie laying in bed. There were no tears, not yet. There were just hugs and glances to things Beca would never be able to see. Beca gathered Laurie and took her home. For days Laurie just sat and rocked in the chair they had put in the nursery only days earlier. At night beca held Laurie as tight as she could. Eventually the hurt faded away, but so did the dreams of starting a family.

Beca's music continued to grow in popularity, and Laurie found her happiness in her elementary school classroom. Life was knitting itself back together.

It was three years later when Laurie woke Beca up in the middle of the night and said five simple words.

"I want to try again."

Beca froze. She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know if she could take the heartache again. But Beca was never able to say no to Laurie for long. Beca loved Laurie.

The pregnancy went perfectly, and nine months later Beca was in a maternity ward in L.A. looking down at the most beautiful baby girl she had ever seen.

"I love you, Laurie."

Laurie looked up at Beca with the brightest ocean blue eyes in the world and smiled. Her whole face lit up. Beca never got tired of that.

"I love you, Beca Mitchell."

**Five Years Later**

"So what do you think, Sam? Music producing in your future?

"Nope. I want to be a teacher like mommy. And maybe a mailwoman."

Beca chuckled quietly to herself. She had a great day with Sam at work, and the new band she was working with had loved her. Sam had drawn them a picture of what they looked like in the recording booth, and they had insisted on using it as their new album cover. Maybe some form of art was in Sam's future. As Beca and Sam got closer to their home they both noticed the flashing blue lights. It must be another break-in. There had been a lot of those in their neighborhood recently. The break-in's had also been a sore spot between Beca and Laurie. Beca wanted to move out as soon as possible, but Laurie didn't want to leave the house that their family had started in.

"What's that Mama?"

"It's just the police. Come on, let's hurry and get Mommy this soup. It'll definitely make her feel better when she knows you picked it out just for her."

As they drew closer to their house it became more obvious that the flashing lights were gathered around their house. Pulling into the driveway, Beca hopped out of her truck and quickly grabbed Sam and held her close. An officer approached her and asked if this was her house.

"Yes I live here. What happened? Where's Laurie?"

"Ma'am will you follow me please?"

"I will if you tell me what's going on."

It was then that Beca noticed the ambulances scattered between the police cars.

"If you will just follow me please. I suggest you leave your daughter with this officer here."

Another officer bounded over towards Beca and Sam.

"My name is Jesse. I'd be happy to stay here with your daughter."

"Just tell me what the hell is going on!"

Beca was growing more and more uneasy as she stood there. She was clinging to Sam. She could feel her panic move from the tip of her toes and bubble up through her blood.

"I highly suggest you leave your daughter with Jesse and follow me," the first officer said. The urgent tone did not go unnoticed by Beca, and she finally started to lower Sam to the ground. Beca took two steps toward the house and a gurney was wheeled out. A gurney with a white sheet covering. A white sheet with spots of blood on it. Spots of blood that had to come from some source. A source that had to be under the white sheet. Where was Laurie? These details came in small increments. There was only so much she could take. She took jagged steps towards the gurney, and before she could reach it it hit a bump. A hand fell from underneath the sheet. Beca collapsed. Grabbed the hand as the gurney went by.

"Mama? Mama, where's Mommy? What happened? Where's Mommy?"

Sam. Sam needed her. But everything was moving too slow. Everything was stopping. She couldn't. Move. Everything was turning into white noise. Everything was falling down around Beca. Everything but the hand. The hand she was desperately clinging to.

**-XXX-**

The police report said there was a break-in. The intruder ransacked the living room before moving to the bedroom. The owner of the house was laying in bed and did not notice the intruder enter. The intruder used a bookend and hit the owner of the house three times on the head with the bookend. The police were called by a neighbor at 7:00 p.m. when the sound of a door breaking was heard. The police arrived at 7:08 p.m. The intruder was not caught. The owner's time of death was 7:06.

The police report did not include the days Beca spent rocking in the chair that Laurie had rocked in so many years ago. It did not include the meals and help that Jesse brought by for weeks after the break-in. It did not include the days that Sam stood at the door of her moms' room and watched the loss of her other mother. It did not include what happened after.


	2. Chapter 2: The Baffled King

**A/N: The italics are flashbacks. Thanks for reading!**

"Come on Jesse. I really need to finish this track. Can't you stay with her for just a little longer?"

"No Beca I really can't. I have to go to work."

"You can't take her with you?"

"Seriously Beca? I'm a police officer."

"Ok then. Fine. Yeah I'm coming home right now."

"Good. It's about time."

Beca rubbed her face with her hands. She just sat in her chair for a few minutes. Not moving. Not even thinking. Finally, with one last sigh, she got up and gathered her things.

_Beca could feel Jesse staring at her from the doorway. She didn't look away from the spot on the wall she was staring at. Had been staring at for the past week and a half. She just kept rocking. He didn't say anything, and Beca had grown so comfortable with silence that she didn't say anything either._

"_I brought you guys some soup."_

_Beca kept rocking. Jesse stood there for a few more minutes just waiting. As he was turning away Beca spoke,_

"_Why are you being so nice to us?"_

_Jesse had always been a caring person. Unlike Beca he came from a happy household, and was still on very good terms with his parents. _

"_Someone needs to be here for you. I begin to understand what you and Sam are going through, but that won't stop me from helping out in anyway that I can."_

"_You don't even know us."_

_Jesse didn't have anything to say to that. It was true. He didn't know them, but he had to do something. Jesse had seen Beca falling apart on the grass when Laurie had been wheeled out. He felt like he had to do something. If he couldn't do anything for Beca he could at least be there for Sam. _

_Beca was silent for a few more beats._

"_We're moving Monday. I can't stay here. I have to do something, and I'll be stuck in this chair forever if I don't get out of this house. Will you help us pack?"_

"_Of course I will."_

_The move was quick. There was one filled truck and the house was empty. Jesse took Sam's hand and lead her out of the house while Beca took one last look. The only thing left was the rocking chair in the bedroom. _

When Beca got home Jesse was just leaving. He stuck his hand out of his car window and gave a quick wave before driving off. Beca opened the front door and walked towards the kitchen. Sam was sitting at the table reading a book. She didn't look up as Beca walked in and opened the fridge.

"Hey kid. Have you eaten?"

"Yeah I have."

"What book are you reading?"

"Savvy."

"Is it any good?"

"Yes."

With that last word Sam got up and headed to her room.

"Alright. Good night, I guess."

Hell, Beca couldn't blame the kid. It's not like Beca had been the best mother figure these last six years. Jesse had been more of a parent to her. After that night Beca had sunk back into music as her escape. There wasn't anyone to pull her out anymore. She started staying later at the office and taking on more and more bands. Beca hadn't lost her passion for the music, but there was a different kind of steady determination. She hadn't taken a day off in the past five years.

Beca didn't forget about Sam. Of course not. Beca made sure that people were always there to look after Sam. She was never home alone. Beca just. Couldn't. There wasn't an excuse and Beca knew that, but that didn't change anything. Sam had lost two mothers that night. Beca hated herself, but she couldn't find her way out of what she had done to her family.

Beca shook her head at these thoughts, and she did what she always did when things got too difficult to handle. She got up from the kitchen counter and walked upstairs to her room. She spent hours at her computer making and perfecting mix after mix. After six hours she finally made herself go to bed. This was a game she played most every night. She would exhaust herself until she thought there was a chance the nightmares wouldn't come tonight. Most every night she was wrong. This night was no exception.

In the next room Sam was doing much the same thing. After reading for hours and finishing one book and getting over halfway through the next one, Sam made herself turn out the light. Just like her mom the nightmares started as soon as she fell asleep. This time there were two gurneys wheeled out of the house instead of just one.

The next day Sam was awake long before Beca. In the past five years Sam had become an early riser. In the beginning it was to try and catch Beca going to work, most of the time she caught Beca coming home from work, but now it was just habit. School was almost out for the summer, and it was good fortune that this Saturday happened to have excellent weather. Sam went out in the backyard and started to finish the book she had started last night.

She was deep in the world of the book, The Book of Lost Things to be specific, when she was jolted by someone singing in the yard next to hers. The voice was beautiful. Sam got up from her reading spot and wandered over to the fence. The woman was singing Titanium. Sam knew this song from all the mixes Beca had made. It was one of her favorite songs. Sam started to sing along to the song and harmonize with the woman. The woman looked up startled and put down her gardening tools she was holding, but she didn't stop singing. The woman had blues eyes just as bright as Sam's.

When the song was finished the woman's face broke out in one of the biggest smiles Sam had ever seen. Sam smiled back tentatively.

"You seem a little young to know that song. Come to think of it you seem a little young to have a voice that amazing."

"Beca, my-," Sam couldn't bring herself to say it, "um, she does mixes with that song, so I've heard it a lot."

"Oh ok. What're you reading?"

Sam was a little put off by this stranger's interest, but, surprisingly, she didn't mind too much. "It's called the The Book of Lost Things."

"I've read that! It's really great, but, again, seems a little old for you."

"Yeah well all the other books for my age are really boring. Besides, David is only a year older than me."

The woman gave Sam that mega-watt smile again. "Well you have me there. Hey, would like to help with my garden? I could use a little assistance."

"I don't even know your name. You're a stranger. The people I'm not supposed to talk to.

"If I introduce myself we won't be strangers anymore. Would you help me then?"

"I guess. I'm Sam Connolly."

"Chloe Beale. It's nice to meet you Sam."

**A/N: Savvy and The Book of Lost things are real books. You should read them.**


	3. Chapter 3: Her Beauty in the Moonlight

Beca was dragged out of what little sleep she got by a horrible noise. It wouldn't stop. What was it! Her phone ringing.

_Oh. _

Beca reached for her phone, and answered it before she even looked to see who it was.

"Hello?"

"Beca. Thank god. We need you to come in. This band won't leave until they get your final opinion. I tried telling them that it was your day off, but they wouldn't listen. I'm sorry.

"It's ok I'll be in soon. Just hang tight."

To be honest Beca didn't mind going into work. She liked feeling like she was the one that everyone needed. Besides she usually mixed all Saturday anyway. She got out of bed and threw on some clothes. Beca didn't feel the need to dress up. It had been a long time since she had done that.

Beca wandered downstairs and peeked in Sam's room. Not in there. She walked into the kitchen, and poured a cup of coffee. It was from yesterday so she had to heat it up, but she took this time to look around for Sam. When she couldn't find Sam anywhere in the house, Beca started to worry a little. When her coffee was done she walked outside. No Sam here either. She was seriously starting to freak now. Suddenly she heard a light tinkling laugh. It might have been a while since Beca had heard that laugh, but she still remembered it. She made her way over to the fence that separated her yard and the neighbor's yard. Sure enough Sam was talking to the redheaded neighbor. And...gardening?

"What're you doing Sam?"

Both the redheaded woman and Sam looked up quickly at the voice. Sam's face fell, and she looked down. The woman looked from Sam to her mom, and awkwardly stood up. She walked over to the fence.

"I'm sorry you must have been really worried. My name is Chloe Beale. I just moved in recently. Sam heard me singing, and I invited her over to help me with my garden. I hope you don't mind."

Chloe bit down on her bottom lip, and just stared at Beca. She was desperately wishing the brunette woman would say something soon. But all Beca could do was stare into Chloe's eyes. Her bright, deep blue eyes. Much like Sam's eyes. But at the same time not like Sam's eyes. There was some of her biological dad in her eyes that muted the blueness, or maybe the light that made her eyes sparkle had left six years ago. Whatever had happened they weren't quite the same. Not quite as deep. But this woman had those eyes, and it had been so long since she had seen those eyes.

"Um..."

"_Um could you help me, please?"_

_Beca had just transferred to Barden, and she was hopelessly lost. Her dad had finally convinced Beca to move to Barden. Well convinced wasn't the quite the right word. Beca's dad worked at Barden, and he had planned on Beca getting her education there since he had first started working there, but Beca had other plans. She loved music, and that was her career choice. No doubt about it. So when her dad left so did his expectations, and Beca went to Berklee. It was a dream come true, but then her mom lost her job. Even though Beca had a lot of scholarships it still wasn't enough to cover the costs, and off Beca went with free ride at Barden. She enrolled in their music program, but it was nothing like Berklee. Not even close. Beca decided to start working at the radio station on campus. Maybe some experience would help replace the amazing education she had lost when leaving her old college. There was only one problem. She could not find the radio station._

_After wandering around the campus for close to an hour she finally gave up and decided to ask someone. She hated to ask this girl, she was so absorbed in her book, but there was no one else around to ask. When the girl looked up Beca was so taken by the eyes that looked back at her. They were the purest blue she had ever seen. The clearest ocean. The most beautiful sky. They were deep, and Beca could already feel herself getting lost._

"_Yes, sure. I'll help," the girl said after an uncomfortable silence that had grown without Beca's knowledge. _

"_Sorry, but you just have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen." Did Beca really just say that? Shit. What was she thinking._

_The girl smiled at Beca instantly and chuckled. "You're so sweet, and you don't even know my name."_

"_My name is Beca Mitchell the girl with the huge foot in her mouth."_

_This just made the girl laugh even harder. _

"_I'm Laurie Connolly the incredibly flattered girl."_

_Beca smiled at Laurie. "Anyway, do you know where the radio station is?"_

_Laurie jumped up excitedly. "I actually just figured out where that was yesterday. I'm so excited someone asked me where it was. Now I feel like it was totally worth getting lost yesterday. Let's go."_

"_Wait. You're gonna take me there?"_

"_Of course. It's the least I could do after you were so sweet."_

_Beca could feel herself blushing, so she looked down and asked, "How did you get lost yesterday?"_

_If possible Laurie's smile got even bigger. "Well I was reading and usually on those walks I end up somewhere that I've never been before. I don't mind it though. It's pretty exciting."_

"_Wait wait. You read and walk? Isn't that dangerous?"_

_Their easy conversation continued all the way to the radio station. Beca would ask a question and Laurie would talk and talk. And talk and talk and talk. Laurie talked with her whole body. Her arms waved and she was constantly moving. She didn't just talk about herself. She asked Beca questions. More questions than anyone had ever asked Beca. She wasn't comfortable answering some of them, but she did find herself more at ease with Laurie than she had felt in a long time. When they finally reached the radio station Beca was pretty upset. When would she see Laurie again? Would Laurie want to see her?_

"_Let me see your phone."_

"_What?" Beca asked. _

"_You do have a phone right?"_

"_Um yeah. Here you go."_

_Laurie fiddled with Beca's phone for a few minutes. _

"_There. Now you have my number. Call me. Soon."_

"Um..."

Chloe was looking at Beca expectantly. Her head slightly tilted. A smile tugging at her lips.

"Sorry. You just have really beautiful eyes."

Chloe's eyes widened and her smile grew. Sam's head shot up and stared at Beca. What had Beca just said?

"Woah sorry."

"No that's ok. It was really sweet. Thank you." Chloe laughed lightly. Beca tore her eyes away from the redhead and looked at Sam.

"I have to go into work kid. Come on and let me drop you off at Jesse's."

"I'm not a kid. I'm almost twelve."

Beca sighed. "Come on Sam. I really have to go."

"I don't want to go to."

"I can watch her. No problem."

Beca and Sam turned to look at her.

"I don't even know you."

"Well you know my name. I can give you my phone number. I live right next door. Besides I have nothing to do all day. I'll enjoy the company."

Sam started to smile while Beca just looked confused.

"Are you ok with staying here Sam?"

"Um. Yeah."

"Well. Ok. I guess. What's your number?" Beca was still a little nervous about leaving Sam here, but she did seem like she wanted to stay. And there was something about Chloe that Beca just trusted. After numbers were exchanged, Beca gave her Jesse's number just to be safe, Beca got in her car and started to drive off. She looked out her window at the girls before driving off. Beca could see Sam laugh before Beca drove off.


	4. Chapter 4: A Cry You Can Hear At Night

**A/N: Geez. I know this has been forever. I'm sorry. It seems like I just got...distracted. But I'm back and I plan to keep it updated regularly for the rest of the story. As always, thank you for reading! **

* * *

Chloe and Sam were sitting in a comfortable silence. Slowly planting, and weeding, and fertilizing the garden plot in the backyard. Sam wasn't really thinking about anything, and she was enjoying that. She welcomed any respite from her constant thoughts. Chloe, on the other hand, was thinking about Sam. And Beca. But mainly Sam. She seemed to be handling her mother's sudden leave well. Was she used to this? Why did she seem to be used to this treatment at only eleven? Who took care of her? She was definitely too young to be taking care of herself. Chloe's parents were some of the most important people in her life. What would she have done if her mom just left her like Beca had done?

"Is Jesse your dad?"

"No."

Chloe smiled to herself. This was going to be harder than she thought.

"What does your mom do for a living?"

"She's a music producer."

"Woah! That's a really cool job!"

"Yeah I guess."

"What do you want to be when you get older?"

Sam leveled Chloe with a stare. "Whatever I want to be."

Chloe had to fight to hold back a burst of laughter. Who was this girl? An enigma wrapped in a mystery.

"Well that's a fair answer. Do you have any options?"

"I dunno. Maybe a psychologist. Maybe a social worker."

"Hey! I'm a psychologist!"

Sam looked up with a slight smile on her face. How could Chloe get so excited over a small thing? Who was this woman?

"I'm really glad that you want to be one. I love my job. I couldn't let you sit in for a session, but I could definitely show you around the office. Introduce you to some people. I know you're only eleven, but it's never too early to meet people. Would you like that? I could talk to your mom about it."

Sam had only stared at her the whole time she was talking. Her slight smile growing bigger by the word. Who WAS this woman?

"But you know. Only if you want to. You don't have to. I thought-"

"I would love to. Really."

"Yeah? Ok!"

"You know I'm only eleven right? Why are you so excited?"

"You don't act very eleven."

"Jesse tells me I'm eleven going on forty about every day."

Chloe laughed. "Yeah that sounds about right."

They both sat in silence for a while. Each thinking their own thoughts. Each getting lost in their thoughts that weren't really thoughts. Just wanderings.

"I turn twelve in a week."

"Wow! That's so exciting. You're having a party right? How many people are going to be there?"

"I'm not really having a party. I don't think anyone even realizes that it is my birthday except for Jesse. He has a son, but he's three years younger than me. My only friend from school already went to her mom's house in Kentucky. I don't really have anyone else to invite."

"Well I'm your friend, and I'm sure your mom has something planned. It's probably just a surprise."

"No she doesn't."

They fell back into their silence, but this time Chloe's toughts was worried. Worried about Sam. But also worried about Beca. About a woman she only knew through her daughter. A daughter that knew too many things for an almost twelve year old.

"Why don't you call your mom 'mom'?"

Sam stared at Chloe for a long time. "That is a very personal question."

"Just thought I would ask. You really don't have to tell me. My feelings won't be hurt."

Sam was still for a long time. She didn't look up. She wasn't doing anything. Just when Chloe was starting to get worried Sam spoke.

"Well she hasn't really been my mom for a long time."

Now they were both still. Chloe barely knew how to take this. She heard stories like this almost every day, but that didn't make this any easier. It never made any of it any easier. But Chloe knew that she was about to get involved. It was one of the unfortunate side effects of her caring personality. She knew she shouldn't. This was none of her business, but it was too late. Way too late. She was already invested in Sam. She already cared too much.

Sam had grown more and more anxious as the silence stretched on. Chloe, lost in her own thoughts, didn't notice.

"I'm going to finish reading. Maybe see you later?"

Chloe's head snapped up. "I'm supposed to be watching you. I know you're almost forty," a slight smile from Sam. Slight smiles seemed to be Sam's speciality,"but I would feel more comfortable if you stayed over here."

"Oh...right. Well can I least go get my book?"

Chloe smiled. "Of course. Hurry back. I like your company."

That was when Chloe saw Sam's first real smile of the day. A bright 100 watt smile. Chloe smiled back automatically.

"Yeah I will."

Chloe sat back and sighed. Watching Sam run away Chloe couldn't help but look forward to getting to know the kid better. She might be too caring and too involved, but she could honestly say she cared about Sam. Even if she had only known her for a day. One thing was for sure, this was going to be an interesting summer.


	5. Chapter 5: You Needed Proof

_[9:30 p.m.] Hey. This is Chloe. Sam just went to bed. Just wanted to let you know. _

Beca didn't look at her phone until ten. "Shit."

She had gotten lost in a mix. She usually did. They were her escape. Her reprieve. This wasn't really a surprise to anyone. They had always been like this, but after. Well after the was a desperate air in her desire to mix. Her songs she produced and created got darker, but there was a deepness that had been lost before. Some of her biggest hits had only come after. Beca hated this fact. Laurie had made her better. A better person, a better producer, a better everything. This was a fact she clung to. So beca had shrugged off her new found fame after. She retreated into a mysterious shadow on the edges of her songs. This just made her more popular. More desirable. Beca wanted none of it.

Beca made her way to the house. She already felt bad. She had gotten used to taking Jesse for granted. When he didn't have to work a night shift Sam usually just stayed at his house, but this woman was not Jesse. Beca had been surprised when Chloe had offered to watch Sam. That wasn't something people just did, but Beca was almost glad. Maybe Sam could have a mother figure in her life after all.

Beca opened the door and immediately saw Chloe sitting in the living room reading.

"I am so so sorry. I got really caught up in my work. I completely forgot."

"It's not a big deal really. To me. Sam lent me this book. It's one of her favorites."

Beca could hear the slight accusatory tone in Chloe's voice. _To me_. She collapsed onto the nearby couch and dropped her head in her hands.

"Are you ok?"

"Um. Yeah. Yeah I think so."

"Ok." A beat later Chloe asked, "Do you always come home this late?"

Who was this woman? "Do you always ask personal questions when you barely know someone?"

Chloe chuckled. "Sorry. It's part of my job. I'm a psychologist."

Beca finally looked up at Chloe. At those eyes. Her slight smile. What was wrong with her?

"Yeah. that job fits you."

"How can you tell?"

"Well for one all the questions. And two, I dunno, you just kinda have this caring air about. I mean not many people would just offer to watch a kid they barely know."

"Well Sam is a one of a kind kid. I throughly enjoyed my day with her."

"She really is great isn't she?"

"You really love her. What happened?"

Beca stared at Chloe. "It's getting pretty late."

Chloe really hadn't expected Beca to answer her. She also didn't really know why she had asked that question. Chloe was a very open person, but she had grown used to the privacy that people placed around themselves. So she wasn't sure where this had come from. Chloe only knew that there was something about Beca. Something about her made Chloe want to understand, to know. Obviously this was going to take some time.

"I'm sorry. That question was way too forward. I don't even know why I asked that."

Beca sighed. While she hadn't answered the question she hadn't really minded it. There was no way in hell that she was going to talk about...that, but there was something about Chloe. Beca had no idea what it was. She didn't know if she wanted to know what it was, but she had a feeling she was going to figure it out.

"It's really ok. I'm not going to answer you, but it's ok."

Chloe smiled with relief. Beca couldn't help but smile back.

"I have a felling we're going to be really fast friends, Beca."

"I guess I have no say in the matter?" Beca couldn't help but laugh.

Chloe's smile widened. "Oh yeah. You're feelings are absolutely irrelevant."

They bother laughed together. It was nice. Neither had laughed like this in a while.

"Do you work tomorrow?"

"Not usually, but I could always get called in to tweak a song or something."

"Well don't get called in. Tomorrow you and Sam are coming over to dinner."

"Yet another thing I have no say in. I don't know how I feel about this new friendship.

This set off another round of giggles in Chloe. Beca couldn't help but smile. Chloe had an infectious personality. That was for sure.

"Ok. We'll come. I could use a real day off anyway."

Beca couldn't believe that she had just said that. A day off from the only thing that kept her sane. She had barely known this woman for a day. What was happening to her?

"And maybe after Sam goes to bed we could plan a party for her birthday. If you don't already have something planned."

Shit. _Shit_. How could she have forgotten her birthday. What a fuck up she had become.

"Oh. Yeah sure that sounds great. Yeah ok."

"Ok tomorrow at seven. Don't be late."

As Chloe walked out the front door, Beca's head fell into her hands again. How could she have forgotten something this big? It's not like Beca hadn't realized before what a horrible mom she had been to Sam. There were times in the past years that Beca had forgotten important dates, events that she had been absent for, and hints that Jesse had dropped. But nothing like this. Nothing this big. When had this happened?

She slowly rose and wandered upstairs to her bedroom. She had to change something. But could she? Was she too late?

* * *

**I promise the next update will be longer. Thank you guys for reading! **


	6. Chapter 6: And From Your Lips

"Hey are you ready yet?"

Beca had been trying to find the right thing to wear to dinner all day. She had taken no calls (there had been calls), she had eaten very little food, and she had definitely not found the right thing to wear. She didn't even know why she was trying so hard. Well maybe she did. Beca was not one to lie to herself. She might try to avoid things, not think about things, but when she owned up to it there was no going back.

Beca did not like this woman. She wasn't there. Yet. The yet part was what she was trying to not think about, but these thoughts had persisted all day. Yet. Sighing she collapsed on the bed. These were the facts: She was thankful to Chloe. She was intrigued by Chloe and she was intrigued by her reaction to Chloe. She wanted to impress Chloe, for Chloe to like her. That fast friends comment was really bugging her. And she Did Not like this woman yet. She wasn't ready.

Beca looked down at herself. This outfit would have to do. It was, admittedly, the best so far. It was very lesbian semi-casual. Dark skinny jeans, a button up (sleeves rolled up of course), bow tie, suspenders, the works. Rising she called out to Sam.

"Yeah I'm ready."

When Beca walked out and looked at Sam she paused. This kid had style. A button up tucked into red shorts and a small barrette pinning her bangs back.

"What? Is this not ok?" Sam asked, gesturing to her outfit.

"No no. I think you look really great. What about me? Be honest?"

"You look alright, I guess."

They both smiled at each other. The first time in a long time.

"Thanks, I guess."

After a few seconds of laughter, Sam suddenly stopped and looked down. Beca couldn't deny that she was disappointed. She missed the great times she had with Sam before. She knew the wall between her and Sam was entirely her fault, but that didn't stop her from the feelings of regret and guilt she felt more and more everyday.

"Well let's go."

The walk to Chloe's house might have been short, but it was still so so uncomfortable. Neither knew what to say. Neither really wanted to say anything. But as soon as they walked into Chloe's house they both relaxed.

"Hey guys! Hey! I'm really glad you're here, and you really have great timing. I was just plating our dinner."

Chloe had that effect on both of them. Her personality enveloped them and made them feel safe and welcome, made their hurts sting a little less. All of the uncomfortableness vanished the instant Chloe had smiled at them.

They followed her into the dining room. "Here. I brought this for you."

"Wine! That's great. I really am a wine person. Every once in a while I'll have a woodchuck or something, but wine is my guilty pleasure defiantly."

Beca smiled at her. "Yeah I figured that. You really seem like a wine person."

"I"m going to take that as a compliment and disregard that tone in your voice. I am not so easily figured out as you might think."

Beca, Chloe, and Sam were laughing as they sat down at the table.

"Hold on and let me go get the plates."

When she came walking in with the plates Beca instantly stiffened.

"Is Italian ok, guys? I really enjoy it, and stuffed shells is my favorite."

"Yeah. It looks great. We never have Italian food," said Sam.

Beca could barely stay in her seat. The urge to get up and leave, to go anywhere else. "Yeah...looks..great."

_Beca was nervous no doubt about it. She was tapping out a beat with her feet. It was getting more and more complex as the seconds passed on. She was just about to leave. About to bolt and make up some story about getting sick at the last minute, but her door finally opened. Laurie looked amazing. Her dress was simple, her hair curled, and flats for shoes, but she had never looked better. _

_"Wow."_

_"Thank you, you eloquent fool. Your words astound me more and more everyday."_

_"I think I'm rubbing off on you in a very bad way."_

_They both laughed, Beca's with a hint of nervous and Laurie's with more than a hint of excitement. It had taken Beca ages to ask Laurie out. After over a month of spending almost everyday hanging out she had finally gotten the courage to do it. It's not that Beca had been nervous that Laurie would turn her down, the hand holding and cuddling kinda clued her in, she was more nervous about what would come after. _

_Beca was not a relationship person. Her parents had kinda ruined her on them. When she was younger everything had been normal. They had gone on family trips and had eaten dinner together. Slowly this had all fell apart. As Beca got older the trips stopped. Soon after the dinners stopped too. She saw less and less of her dad. He was always at work, or off on a trip. When he was home all her parents did was fight. Beca would hide in her room listening to music to drown out the sound of her parents. That's what music had started out as, a method of hiding. Soon it turned into an escape. She thought herself the inner workings of music, and her mom felt so guilty about the household falling apart that she bought Beca the DJ equipment that allowed Beca to escape more. Eventually her parents divorced. It was messy. Beca and her mom ended up moving into a small apartment while her father moved across the country in a nice house with his new wife. Beca's mom would bring home men every now and then, but nothing lasted. _

_This was the only example of relationships that Beca had. This is what she was nervous about. Laurie deserved more than someone that would eventually mess up, and Beca knew that she would eventually mess it up. But she was selfish, her feelings had grown and grown until she couldn't handle it anymore. _

_"Hey. Beca. Relax." Laurie starting running her hands up and down Beca's arms. These movements soothed Beca. She couldn't help it, this is what Laurie did to her._

_"Ok. Yeah. I'm here."_

_"Good. I need you to be right here. Ok?"_

_"Ok."_

_Laurie smiled. "Ok. So where are you taking me?"_

_"I was thinking Italian?"_

_"I love Italian. That sounds great!"_

_The date had gone perfectly. Beca had ordered stuffed shells and Laurie got spaghetti with meat sauce._

_"You're pretty plain jane, huh?"_

_"Excuse me. I happen to love plain ol' spaghetti. Besides I'm planning on eating some of yours. So."_

_"This is my plate. There will be no stealing of my food."_

_"Well that's how I am. Both plates are open territory. You better get used to it missy."_

_Beca just smiled. There was no way she could argue with Laurie. This was only the first date, but Beca was pretty sure she was in love._

"Hello! Beca? Are you here?"

"Um. Yeah. I'm here."

Chloe smiled at her. "Good. So what're you reading now Sam?"

"The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn."

Beca perked up. "Oh yeah? I loved that book when I was your age."

"Yeah it's great. Even though it's pretty old."

Beca burst out laughing. "Hey! I resent that. I am not old, thank you very much."

Sam started laughing too. "That's not what I meant. I swear."

Dinner went better than Chloe could have hoped. Beca and Sam had not talked like this in years. It wasn't only this conversation but the rest that followed. Chloe was happy to sit back quietly and watch the two interact. It was amazing how alike the mother and daughter were. They looked almost nothing alike, but their expressions and even their hand motions were so similar it was difficult imagine that they weren't biological mother and daughter. But, of course, this was all chloe could do, imagine. Neither had disclosed any facts about their past or any of their situations. This was nothing new to Chloe. She understood that some people cloaked themselves in secrecy for necessity. She understood that very well, but it didn't stop Chloe from wanting to learn more. Her eyes were lingering on Beca longer and longer. She was finding herself more drawn to the woman. She had to control herself, though. Moving too fast would scare Beca away. Beca and Sam.

"Right, Chloe?" Sam was looking at her expectantly.

"Um, sorry?"

No, she couldn't move too quickly, but how long could she wait.

"I'll see you soon Sam!" Chloe was holding open the door for her guests. After a long dinner and several poorly hid yawns from Sam, they were calling it a night.

"Yeah, see you soon Chloe." Sam dashed forward and wrapped Chloe in a quick hug and then ran off out the door.

Chloe looked up at Beca, a huge smile on her face. Beca slowly mirrored Chloe's smile.

"She never does that. There's something special about you Beale." Beca instantly turned a deep red, and, if possible, Chloe's smile deepened.

"Well, see you," Beca mumbled and hurried out the door.

Chloe slowly shut the door still smiling

* * *

A couple hours later the lights in both houses were off, Sam was fast asleep, but Beca was laying wide awake. She was running dinner through her head over and over. Everything Sam had said to her. The way she looked at Beca, like she was her mom again. And then there was Chloe. Everything she had said. Her laugh. Her movements. Everything she did. But why? This wasn't supposed to happen.

Beca rolled over and grabbed the pillow next to her. She buried her head in it and squeezed her eyes shut.

"I miss you so much."

The pillow was only slightly wet when Beca left it. She wandered blindly through the house out the door. She stumbled and supported herself on the fence that seemed to appear beneath her.

"Beca?"

Beca gasped and looked up through the night to the house in front of her.


End file.
